Those
who know me well enough, know that I have a long-standing goal, or dream, if
you like, of driving my friends and loved ones around the bend, and I do mean
literally.
At 45
I’m trying to get my driving licence, something that raises the odd eyebrow at
my age. There have been a few “What? You haven’t got one yet?” comments along
the way. The truth is I’ve never really needed or wanted a driving licence
until the last five years or so. Leaving Sweden at 18, and then mostly living
in big cities since, has made driving fairly unnecessary.
Suddenly
though, turning 40, it started to dawn on me just how useful having such a
licence would be in many parts of the world – not just as a travel writer, but
generally. At 41 I began the learning
process and here am I four years later with the “struggle” still ongoing.
I don’t
know what surprises people more – that I’m learning this late, or that I’ve
been learning this long. To put things into perspective, obviously I haven’t
been learning week in and week out for four years. Last year alone I was away
26 weeks out of the 52, exactly half the year in other words, and learning has
been erratic to say the least, but still, it has been four years and I don’t
have my licence yet, despite taking the practical test four times.
These
“failures” have led a number of people to express the opinion that maybe I
should have given up by now and accepted that I will not pass this test or get
my licence. I find this very interesting, because it’s clearly people’s
expectation, generally speaking, that practical skills are picked up more
quickly than other skills. If I’d been learning a language, say, or studied for
an academic exam, I can’t think of anyone who’d say “wow, you haven’t passed yet?” after four years. I’m finding out
the hard way that things work the opposite way for me in terms of picking up skills. In theory, I’ve been
able for drive for almost 3 ½ years now, because I’ve passed the theory exam,
not once, but twice (as it’s only valid for two years) with flying colours –
only one mistake each time.With a
practical exam, the expectation is that it’ll be easier and quicker to pass –
for anyone – but this isn’t always the case.
So should I be giving up? The hell
I should! I see no reason to give up on a long-standing goal or dream, simply
because I’m failing to live up other people’s imaginary deadlines or
preconceived ideas of how long something should
take. How often do we falter and waver, doubt and prematurely give up on our
dreams just because we believe what other people tell us about our own
abilities? Too often, for sure. I have “given up” plenty of goals and dreams
over the years, but these are what I call “short-standing goals”; the ones that
change with circumstances and priorities, that matter less and can be
postponed, reassessed, reworked or simply let go. The long-standing ones though,
the key things you really want – I can only think of two good reasons to
give up on those: when all possibilities to succeed have been exhausted, or when you’re
dead and buried. By all means, take a break, do something different, put
yourself on pause and regroup, but keep your eye on your goal. If you truly
want to achieve something and it’s important to you, why give up? Things might
not go your way the first, second or tenth time, but does that really matter?
You’re learning along the way and ultimately it all counts towards your goal.
Nothing is ever wasted.
P.S.
At this rate I will, however, need to write a few bestsellers to keep funding
my pursuit. Or guest blog, if there are any takers…
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